I've been stubborn all my life. My earliest memory is from my third birthday. My dad tried to take a picture of my brothers and myself with the cake my mom made for me, but instead of paying attention I refused to look at the camera, as a result my brother, John, grabbed my head and tried to push it forward to look at the camera, but I still refused. Then a year later I was bored of waiting for my dad to pick me up from the church that served as my preschool. Usually my dad would come by and walk me to a nearby cafe where I'd run my hands through the numerous cards on display and my dad would spend a few dollars to spoil me with a treat or two, in return I'd forget my winter gloves as we walked the blocks to my parents' restaurant. At that time I was always leaving my gloves everywhere, but what do you expect from a four year old. One day my dad was running late, and instead of waiting, I decided to walk the few blocks back to my parents' restaurant. I must have remembered the path after walking it so often with my dad, but looking back it didn't worry me that I walked alone at the age of four in downtown Syracuse, New York, rather it is really concerning to me that I was able to just walk off by myself, who at that preschool was responsible for making sure that didn't happen? Of course at the time I didn't worry about such things, I was just impatience and figured I knew my way home. When I walked through the doors of my parents' restaurant my parents were surprised to see me there. They were both simultaneously worried and proud of what I just did, while to me it was nothing more than, "I didn't want to wait."
When I first started talking the first thing my tiny vocal cords would repeat was the Chinese phrase for "I'll do it myself," luckily the Chinese phrase is much shorter and easier for a little girl to vocalize, though I didn't say it precisely correctly, as with everything, I had to personalize it and say it my way. Even as I watch my little niece, Nicole, I see the similarities in our determination to have independence and do things on our own. My brother's worst nightmare has come true, his little girl is just like her auntie.
Even as I grew up I always needed to have things my way, and even now if I get bored enough I just walk away. I remember my first year at university if I saw my bus pull away, instead of waiting for the next one, I'd call up my boyfriend or a friend to pick me up. While I used to go on morning runs from my North Beach apartment, rather than wait for red lights to change, I'd change my course for whichever direction was available at the moment. When I travel I am much the same way, I let what's available dictate my direction as I make my plans at the last minute, the idea of waiting and anticipating an event never occurred to me as an option.
But believe me, this lack of patience and stubbornness has not always worked for me. The world doesn't like a girl who likes to have her way and it rewards those with patience, not those who can't wait.
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| Me on the left and Nicole on the right |
When I first started talking the first thing my tiny vocal cords would repeat was the Chinese phrase for "I'll do it myself," luckily the Chinese phrase is much shorter and easier for a little girl to vocalize, though I didn't say it precisely correctly, as with everything, I had to personalize it and say it my way. Even as I watch my little niece, Nicole, I see the similarities in our determination to have independence and do things on our own. My brother's worst nightmare has come true, his little girl is just like her auntie.
Even as I grew up I always needed to have things my way, and even now if I get bored enough I just walk away. I remember my first year at university if I saw my bus pull away, instead of waiting for the next one, I'd call up my boyfriend or a friend to pick me up. While I used to go on morning runs from my North Beach apartment, rather than wait for red lights to change, I'd change my course for whichever direction was available at the moment. When I travel I am much the same way, I let what's available dictate my direction as I make my plans at the last minute, the idea of waiting and anticipating an event never occurred to me as an option.
But believe me, this lack of patience and stubbornness has not always worked for me. The world doesn't like a girl who likes to have her way and it rewards those with patience, not those who can't wait.
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