Planning a wedding in Italy from halfway around the world hasn't been the easiest, but it's really not so bad either. Luckily Daniele is Italian, which has helped, but because of how popular destination weddings in Italy are for Americans, British, and Australians, planning for all us non-Italian speakers isn't THAT much more difficult than planning in our home countries.
With the language barrier out of the way, one of the most difficult parts of wedding planning for a destination wedding is not actually being able to physically see/taste everything. I know I am taking a leap of faith trusting reviews, photos, Google Earth, etc when it comes to making a decision, but that's why I've looked at my wedding options from every angle before pulling the trigger.
Keep in mind these tips are for the type of wedding Daniele and I are planning, we're opting for an intimate symbolic ceremony (meaning no legal paperwork to fill out) in a rented villa with a focus on a relaxing break for both our families and on good food. Still, the tips below are applicable to other types of weddings as well.
Tip 1: Have An Idea of What Kind of Wedding You Want
The first thing I recommend is having some sort of plan regarding what you want in a wedding, but also to be open to ideas that present themselves. A general search for weddings in Italy brings up countless websites for wedding planners and not much else. Start narrowing that down to specific regions, type of wedding, etc, and you start to get closer to the resources you need.
Tip 2: Consider A Villa, But Avoid Rental Agencies
When we started to look at Tuscany and Umbria we knew we wanted to avoid rental agencies. Rental agencies charge upwards of 10% on top of the cost of renting a villa directly through the owner. After the fiasco with our original villa in the Amalfi Coast, we realized the deposit we put down was basically the fee for the rental agency (30%) and the rest was the actual cost of renting the villa. Not only does working with the owner direct help avoid paying more for the same locations, but we found a number of listings on agency websites stating a 7 night minimum stay, but when we contacted the owners direct we were able to get quotes for 3 nights. Add in the fact that asking rental agencies for recommendations are likely to result in a list of additional services with a premium attached, while most owners are willing to make help out with the wedding planning if you ask for vendor recommendations. Luckily the wedding planning industry hasn't monopolized Italy just yet, with many Italians willing to help out where they can.
Two great sites I found while searching for historic locations to rent is Residenze d' Epoca and Italy Traveller, they both have hundreds of interesting and beautiful locations with direct links to the owners. Another site I recommend is surprisingly Airbnb, though I wouldn't actually book through them. I made the mistake thinking the listings on Airbnb were listed by owners, but I found out a number of listings I contacted were actually to rental agencies charging higher prices. For example I found Villa Vistarenni on Airbnb for $4,000 more than what I am renting it at. Same with VRBO.com, HomeAway.com, and Tripadvisor. They are all great resources to find what's out there, but always try and find the owner directly.
If you find a property that you love on any of the above listed sites, there are a number of ways to find the property's own website and contact information. Often times the villas will have a different name from what the owner actually calls it, that's to keep any prospective renters from going owner direct. That's usually not a problem, just right click the image and click on "Search Google for this image", I'm not sure if other search engines have this same function, but essentially Google performs a search based on the image and points you to websites that have used the image or other visually similar images. This worked the majority of the time for me, otherwise, I searched based on defining clues, such as "castle in Torniella" then combed through the images to find the property I was looking for and all the websites associated with it.
Tip 3: Email Everyone, Even The Places You Think You Can't Afford
There were a number of locations I thought would never be in our budget, but Daniele reminded me it doesn't hurt to ask, if you don't, you'll never know. This worked out to our advantage because Villa Vistarenni was a property I was positive would be out of our budget, but it ended up being in the mid-level of the options we considered.
Also, the general consensus is that Umbria is a much more affordable option to Tuscany. Daniele mentioned that to me when we first decided on an Italian wedding, and all the travel advice I've seen has pointed to the same conclusion, however, once we started looking at properties to rent, we discovered the options were limited in comparison to Tuscany, and the cost higher. This was a bit of a surprise to us, but it made us glad we searched in Tuscany even though we thought for sure we'd find the best value in Umbria.
Tip 4: Don't Be Afraid To Make A Decision Based On Who Is Most Helpful
Since we can't physically be in Italy before our wedding, we knew we'd have to depend on the kindness and recommendations of strangers. Some of the locations we considered made it onto our list partly because of how helpful the owners were in helping us with vendors. Planning a wedding is hard enough, but not getting the information we needed when we asked is something we just didn't want to deal with. With that said, thankfully Villa Vistarenni is gorgeous and the owner super helpful.
Tip 5: Stay Organized
Once you've searched for and contacted the properties you want to rent out, I highly recommend making a spreadsheet with all your options. If not a spreadsheet, find some way to organize yourself so you can compare each property. Write down notes and impressions for each property to remember what you did and didn't like about each location.
Tip 6: Google Map It!
Since we considered options in locations neither Daniele nor I are too familiar with, we had to figure out for ourselves how convenient each location was. It's one thing to read about where each property is located, but it's another to see how each property is located in relation to towns, nature, highways, etc... We Google Mapped everything and utilized directions to measure driving distances, street view to see what the area around each property looked like, and Google Earth to see what type of terrain we would deal with.
Tip 7: Try A Private Chef
When we searched for caterers for our villa in the Amalfi Coast we had a very hard time with the phrase "caterers in Positano". Instead of what we were looking for we found rental agencies who bought the keywords "self catered villa Positano". When we stumbled upon the endless number of personal chefs in Italy, we learned two things about them a) most cater weddings and events b) private chefs in Italy are much more affordable than in the states. The chefs we've talked to have been very flexible and have offered menus starting from 40 Euro per person and no higher than 70 Euros. This includes wine and non-alcoholic drinks, table settings, basic centerpiece flowers, and service.
Tip 8: Wedding Photographer
The Wedding Photojournalist Association has been my best resource for well qualified photographers. You can search internationally and many of the photographers have their basic package rates listed. Though some of the rates are not accurate, they gave me a general idea of what to expect once I emailed them. Junebug Weddings is also a great resource for well trained and creative wedding photographers.
Find a style you like and regardless of what type of budget you are planning to spend on photography, pay attention to see if portfolios have awkwardly posed or cropped photos and look to see if there are a lot of unflattering photos of the couple. This shows if the photographer has a good eye for framing and/or if they take the time to help adjust the couple for posed photos. Avoid inconsistent photo editing, this is used to hide bad technical skills. Pay close attention to photos taken in low light/indoors, this is where a really great photographer will shine. Anyone can take a great photo in excellent lighting conditions, but only someone skilled will know how to handle bad lighting.
Tip 9: Consider Avoiding Legalities
By this I mean consider having the legal marriage done in your home country (city hall wedding anyone?) and stick with a symbolic wedding in Italy. There are a lot of legalities that need to be observed to perform a legal marriage in Italy and having a legal marriage puts limits on where you can have your ceremony performed, easier to avoid all of this and just focus on enjoying your time with family and friends in a beautiful setting. With that said, know that if you have your heart set on any number of the gorgeous Italian city halls, churches, or public monument, you will have to have a legal wedding and not a symbolic blessing. Daniele and I fell in love with the abbey ruins of San Galgano, but we found out they could only perform civil weddings and religious weddings. This is out of the question for us since we've already taken care of the legal wedding here and having another legal ceremony in Italy would set back my wait time for Italian citizenship by another year.
Tip 10: Be Flexible
Conventional wisdom insists that wedding planning should happen well in advance, most sights suggest 18 to 12 months for a destination wedding, but with less than 6 months to go, we never once found a venue nor vendor who was already booked. Now this probably has more to do with having our wedding at the start of the busy season and during a week day, but that's where flexibility comes into play. We have a few nonnegotiables, but for the most part we are pretty laid back. Blending traditional with unconventional, Italian traditions with Chinese traditions, and being open to possibilities we never considered before has made planning much more interesting and fun!
We're still not done planning, but as I learn more about how to plan the other details of a wedding in Italy I'll be sure to update!
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